


Awake

by thebriars



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: I love my beta, M/M, THE GAYS - Freeform, mild language bc high school, movie continuity bc reasons, ok y'all know what this is, short af, the Ferris wheel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-13 22:47:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14122494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebriars/pseuds/thebriars
Summary: The traitorous part of Simon nearly believed that Blue wouldn't come. It was understandable- he'd reversed the situation in his head enough times to know that it was a difficult decision at the least. Leah had lightly backhanded his shoulder when he'd related that much to her, fidgeting in the passenger seat because he was too nervous to drive.-no lying you know what this is





	Awake

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so I was dumb and didn't check out the book in like the four months between trailer and movie and now I'm around fifth on the hold line at the library sO I am sticking to the movie for now
> 
>  
> 
> a big thanks to by beta, Otter, who puts up with my shit and always saves me during economics. love ya girly <33

Simon felt as though he was asleep- like it was all some weird out-of-body experience that he'd eventually shake off, and then everything would feel real. How, he didn't know, but he had to.

The traitorous part of Simon nearly believed that Blue wouldn't come. It was understandable- he'd reversed the situation in his head enough times to know that it was a difficult decision at the least. Leah had lightly backhanded his shoulder when he'd related that much to her, fidgeting in the passenger seat because he was too nervous to drive. Abby was riding her post-show high in the seat behind him, Nick forgoing all safety and laying across her lap.

It felt perfectly normal, even though everything had changed. Leah steered them into the parking lot, letting the engine putt for a minute after they came to a stop.

"Are you okay?"

"Fuck no," Simon huffed, a hand tapping the dashboard nervously, a habit he'd picked up in the long hours of math class.

"If anyone's an asshole, I _will_ punch them," Abby assured, Nick adding his support in the form of _oh yeah, baby, kick their ass._

Simon nodded, unable to vocalize his appreciation, and practically flung himself from the car a second after. Leah whooped a little and followed his lead, four car doors slamming in a decisive chorus.

The carnival seemed like a dream, or something from a teenage chick flick. A little too perfect; a little too bright to be realistic or believable. Simon passed through the ticket booth easily, hands only shaking the slightest bit, although his stomach was churning like mad.

They latched onto each other during the trek to the Ferris wheel, Leah's hands steady on Simon's arm.

The rest was a blur. He remembered the look on the ticket guy's face when he shoved a full chain of yellow paper into his hand. Simon felt the cool metal under his hands and heard the click of the pin. He saw Abby jumping a little, flashing a thumbs-up while Nick chewed his fingertips and Leah grinned. He saw Ethan smiling a little from the sidelines.

He crested the wheel quickly, stopping a few places down from the very top. Simon looked out over the carnival grounds and his suburb, finding the bright lights of the high school's parking lot and the subdivision where he lived with relative ease. He saw the skyline of the city over the treetops and he looked down at the colorful booths below.

Blue was out there somewhere.

Blue knew who he was.

Blue was everything in that moment.

But Simon slowly ran out of tickets and hope as he saw the skyline and the lights again and again. He saw Abby leading little cheers, though they slowly faded into halfhearted and apprehensive clapping every time Simon circled around. Leah's bright grins disappeared behind a bitten lip and nervous bouncing. Nick had his face hidden in Abby's shoulder, muttering something as the ride came to a stop.

The ticket guy said something, and though the words blew over Simon's head, he got the gist. The pin clicked again and the hinges creaked and his chest burned with unshed... tears? Screams? He wasn't sure anymore, but the surreal ride ended in much the same way it started. Blurry and numb.

He couldn't quite bring himself to stand up, but Simon saw the way Abby was looking at him and knew that it might finally be time.

"Wait!"

And then Martin was there, skidding to a stop, arms outstretched as if for a hug from a long lost friend. Simon was shaking his head from the instant Martin's worn and treadless converse came to a halt on the concrete.

"It's me-," he started, and Simon nearly groaned.

"Yeah, _no_ , sorry."

He could see Nick's conflicted laughter and anxiety plain as day, and Simon caught Cal Price's face crossing his mind. Maybe it really was him and his obnoxiously endearing highlights- maybe Lyle, with his stupid black curls and dazzling eyes.

Martin was shoving cash into the man's hand, and had it been anyone other than the guy who could kick Simon off and ruin this last chance, he probably would have made some dumb stripper joke. Martin- or, at least, his humor- was predictable. Simon hadn't expected homecoming at all. He remembered Leah's face when he suggested she take up Nick's offer and Nick's face when Abby turned Martin down.

His heart clenched a little.

"Last call for the Ferris wheel!"

Simon saw the world spin a little, lights whirring into a steady stream of neon, and then the gate closed and his heart fell and a face came out from the crowd, terrified but absolutely sure in itself.

Bram.

Could it be him? Could Bram be Blue- the charming personality, the little quirks- and could Simon be in love with him?

Yes, absolutely. Simon could definitely be in love with Bram. All he needed was a name, a nod, and a boy in the seat beside him.

"Um, could I sit there?"

Simon's mouth went dry and he could see Leah pressing her fingers to her temples in the background. "I was... waiting for somebody." He cracked the tiniest of smiles.

"I know," Bram breathed, and Simon pushed the bar open a little and held his breath, hoping and hoping and hoping.

Bram slid into the space next to Simon with nervous ease, as if he was trying with all his might to remain calm and casual. Simon pressed his lips together and made eye contact with Abby, who gave him a grin.

They didn't touch, the inch between them screaming every doubt and fear louder than either ever wanted it to. Simon gripped the rail as though it were the last string tying him to the life he used to live. If he let go, if he rested a hand over Bram's or leaned in or even spoke, it would all be gone.

A cheery _good morning_ from his mom and a flash of a grin from his dad. Nora's fancy oatmeal and a soft bark in the background. A smooth trip to Nick's and Leah's and then coffee and Abby and school and lunch together and rehearsal and a perfect, normal life.

He let go of the damn rail.

"It's you," he said, and the reality of it all fell down on him and the world shook itself like Bieber after a bath. _It's you._

Now he was awake.

**Author's Note:**

> well? I haven't read the book so they are all definitely ooc, so please feel free to correct me when necessary 
> 
> also my phone is stupid and autocorrect is dumb so pls pls pls let me know if there are any grammatical/spelling errors
> 
> anyway, I've seen the movie twice now and love it to death, so I had to write a lil something 
> 
> -
> 
> I may be ace but I'm a hoe for comments <3


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